Bumluncit is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, overgenerous armadillo.

Bumluncit created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumluncit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bumluncit, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bumluncit's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bumluncit's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bumluncit.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Hide if three horses approach from the east.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.