Gembodsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unfair clam.

Gembodsaw created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gembodsaw, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gembodsaw, it will refuse to believe in you.

Gembodsaw's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Gembodsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to otters while wearing fawn dresses.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Never mention dogs.

5. Never sit in the presence of manatees.