Flowtiphen is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, sage yak.

Flowtiphen created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowtiphen, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flowtiphen, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Flowtiphen's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Flowtiphen's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Run away if six voles approach from the east.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Flowtiphen.

5. Never wear stockings.