Femlingon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, clever gerbil.

Femlingon created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femlingon, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Femlingon, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Femlingon's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Femlingon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never hurt ducks.

5. Do not eat gooseberries.