Mapjopgon is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unsympathetic faun.

Mapjopgon created dark matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapjopgon, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mapjopgon, it will turn you into a tree.

Mapjopgon's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Mapjopgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. You must pray to Mapjopgon six times a day.

3. Worship no other gods but Mapjopgon.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed oranges to ducks while wearing shirts.