Fenwatwotquim is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, merciless cow.

Fenwatwotquim created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fenwatwotquim, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fenwatwotquim, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Fenwatwotquim's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Fenwatwotquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never eat lemons.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.