Flamxendit is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish wombat.

Flamxendit created gold two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamxendit, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flamxendit, it will destroy your home planet.

Flamxendit's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Flamxendit's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never feed aubergines to moths while wearing violet dresses.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Retreat if six pigs approach from the east.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.