Tofvoljarn is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, loving crocodile.

Tofvoljarn created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofvoljarn, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tofvoljarn, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tofvoljarn's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tofvoljarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Feed all hungry mice.

5. Always help sharks in need.