Yogflanpid is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, two-faced squid.

Yogflanpid created energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yogflanpid, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yogflanpid, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yogflanpid's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Yogflanpid's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue sheep, for they are unholy.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing green coats.

5. Always pray immersed in water.