Nuljophom is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, narcissistic walrus.

Nuljophom created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuljophom, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nuljophom, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nuljophom's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Nuljophom's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Hide if nine foxes approach from the north.

3. Put Nuljophom first in all things.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Nuljophom.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.