Flispakbellkinlidsand is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, selfish hydra.

Flispakbellkinlidsand created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flispakbellkinlidsand, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flispakbellkinlidsand, it will turn you into a goat.

Flispakbellkinlidsand's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Flispakbellkinlidsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peanuts.

2. Worship no other gods but Flispakbellkinlidsand.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always help tortoises in need.

5. Never play with disobedient children.