Loprutpad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, resourceful centipede.

Loprutpad created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loprutpad, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Loprutpad, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Loprutpad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Loprutpad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Loprutpad.

3. Never laugh near doves.

4. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.