Nurtcapshav is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, grumpy unicorn.

Nurtcapshav created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtcapshav, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nurtcapshav, he will turn you into a mouse.

Nurtcapshav's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Nurtcapshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sheep.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Nurtcapshav must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.