Veensisvenbossmabbifran is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, stupid squirrel.

Veensisvenbossmabbifran created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veensisvenbossmabbifran, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Veensisvenbossmabbifran, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Veensisvenbossmabbifran's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Veensisvenbossmabbifran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Never sing near sheep.

3. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

4. Never wear green shorts.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Veensisvenbossmabbifran on top of all buildings.