Parkditton is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ill-tempered bee.

Parkditton created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkditton, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Parkditton, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Parkditton's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Parkditton's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never write about quantum field theory.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Parkditton loves squirrels, so they must be respected.