Tipmobsadkem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, awesome dog.

Tipmobsadkem created Asia four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipmobsadkem, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tipmobsadkem, he will turn you into a hamster.

Tipmobsadkem's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tipmobsadkem's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near eagles while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing seven titanium spheres on your head.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Do not keep eight monkeys in a large pit.