Linwabfet is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, two-faced centipede.

Linwabfet created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linwabfet, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Linwabfet, he will turn you into a hamster.

Linwabfet's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Linwabfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near foxes while wearing yellow shoes.