Kamdagdam is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, irritating crab.

Kamdagdam created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kamdagdam, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Kamdagdam, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kamdagdam's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Kamdagdam's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Kamdagdam loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kamdagdam.