Gilfadcin Cadbugwip is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, charitable squid.

Gilfadcin Cadbugwip created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilfadcin Cadbugwip, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gilfadcin Cadbugwip, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gilfadcin Cadbugwip's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gilfadcin Cadbugwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. You must never eat limes.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Hide if three snails approach from the south.