Vantikril is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident human.

Vantikril created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vantikril, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vantikril, it will curse you with boils.

Vantikril's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Vantikril's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Vantikril on top of all buildings.

4. Fast once a month.

5. You must never eat wheat.