Jamtaffid is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, astonishing whale.

Jamtaffid created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Jamtaffid, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jamtaffid, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jamtaffid's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Jamtaffid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.