Matmigbeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, passionate snail.

Matmigbeg created the universe three million years ago.

If you believe in Matmigbeg, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Matmigbeg, he will come to you in dreams.

Matmigbeg's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Matmigbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Matmigbeg.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Worship no other gods but Matmigbeg.

4. Matmigbeg loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

5. Hide if four shrews approach from the east.