Quatmetpin Nanxenhugxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, charitable fox.

Quatmetpin Nanxenhugxuc created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatmetpin Nanxenhugxuc, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quatmetpin Nanxenhugxuc, she will turn you into a plant.

Quatmetpin Nanxenhugxuc's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Quatmetpin Nanxenhugxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about turtles.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Quatmetpin Nanxenhugxuc must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.