Sandbenvid Higmobyar is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish clam.

Sandbenvid Higmobyar created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandbenvid Higmobyar, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sandbenvid Higmobyar, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sandbenvid Higmobyar's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Sandbenvid Higmobyar's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Worship no other gods but Sandbenvid Higmobyar.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Run away if nine goats approach from the west.