Listjamvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omnipotent beaver.

Listjamvonk created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Listjamvonk, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Listjamvonk, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Listjamvonk's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Listjamvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always treat gulls with great respect.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Never wear indigo hats.