Yarplikpark is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, wise cat.

Yarplikpark created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Yarplikpark, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yarplikpark, she will turn you into a dog.

Yarplikpark's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Yarplikpark's Holy Commandments

1. Sheep are not to be trusted.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Yarplikpark in the centre of the settlement.

4. Erect three silicon sculptures of Yarplikpark on top of important buildings.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near badgers while wearing red kilts and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your chest.