Podzed is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, merciless fairy.

Podzed created the planet Venus nine million years ago.

If you believe in Podzed, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Podzed, he will throw large rocks at you.

Podzed's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Podzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Always look after injured capybaras.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

5. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.