Rawflattar is a god.

He takes the form of a large, selfish jellyfish.

Rawflattar created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rawflattar, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rawflattar, he will turn you into a goat.

Rawflattar's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Rawflattar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Rawflattar on top of all buildings.

3. Always obey Rawflattar's priests.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never run near swans.