Lagfonzen Fliscabnurt Davsashudcunshav is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, egotistical lobster.

Lagfonzen Fliscabnurt Davsashudcunshav created silver two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagfonzen Fliscabnurt Davsashudcunshav, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lagfonzen Fliscabnurt Davsashudcunshav, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Lagfonzen Fliscabnurt Davsashudcunshav's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Lagfonzen Fliscabnurt Davsashudcunshav's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Lagfonzen Fliscabnurt Davsashudcunshav.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.