Ortsinfat is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, vain pigeon.

Ortsinfat created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortsinfat, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ortsinfat, she will turn you into a hamster.

Ortsinfat's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Ortsinfat's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never paint your face red.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.