Quamkamfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless hare.

Quamkamfarn created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamkamfarn, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quamkamfarn, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quamkamfarn's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Quamkamfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Respect your elders.