Lanlamfigsand is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, strong butterfly.

Lanlamfigsand created a quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Lanlamfigsand, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lanlamfigsand, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Lanlamfigsand's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Lanlamfigsand's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Lanlamfigsand.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Feed all hungry dogs.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never skip in the presence of squirrels.
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