Jatyakwanvegrow is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, ruthless fly.

Jatyakwanvegrow created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatyakwanvegrow, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jatyakwanvegrow, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jatyakwanvegrow's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Jatyakwanvegrow's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism.

5. Respect your elders.