Flabbumtit is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, emotional wolf.

Flabbumtit created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flabbumtit, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flabbumtit, he will manifest in front of you.

Flabbumtit's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Flabbumtit's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Flabbumtit seven times a day.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about tapirs.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Never write about galaxies.