Jarntettibafflan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, competent mole.

Jarntettibafflan created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Jarntettibafflan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jarntettibafflan, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Jarntettibafflan's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Jarntettibafflan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six moths approach from the south.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never feed coconuts to mites while wearing kilts.

4. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

5. Put Jarntettibafflan first in all things.