Arnfumfar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, slow ferret.

Arnfumfar created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnfumfar, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Arnfumfar, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Arnfumfar's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Arnfumfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured whales.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never wear indigo stockings.

4. Arnfumfar loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

5. Never play with disobedient children.