Xenfumweg is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, competent cat.

Xenfumweg created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Xenfumweg, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xenfumweg, it will turn you into a sheep.

Xenfumweg's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Xenfumweg's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never feed spinach to doves while wearing trousers.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Never hurt ducks.