Rakwansit is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage dog.

Rakwansit created silver nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakwansit, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Rakwansit, she will be very unhappy.

Rakwansit's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Rakwansit's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

3. You must pray to Rakwansit nine times a day.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.