Wotfomcanomintofmadpangpin is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, astonishing lobster.

Wotfomcanomintofmadpangpin created Mount Everest three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotfomcanomintofmadpangpin, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wotfomcanomintofmadpangpin, it will manifest in front of you.

Wotfomcanomintofmadpangpin's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Wotfomcanomintofmadpangpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Wotfomcanomintofmadpangpin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never think about quantum gravity.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Run away if four great tits approach from the south.