Gamtuncip is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, astonishing slug.

Gamtuncip created oxygen seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gamtuncip, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gamtuncip, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gamtuncip's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Gamtuncip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Gamtuncip loves doves, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect three nickel sculptures of Gamtuncip on top of important buildings.

5. Never sing near birds.