Pophubfitwap is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, all-knowing turtle.

Pophubfitwap created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pophubfitwap, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pophubfitwap, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Pophubfitwap's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Pophubfitwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not cook food in pots.