Bugtargmipgon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unthoughtful grasshopper.

Bugtargmipgon created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bugtargmipgon, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bugtargmipgon, it will jump up and down on your head.

Bugtargmipgon's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bugtargmipgon's Holy Commandments

1. Bugtargmipgon loves geese, so they must be respected.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.