Getcussfub is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, tiresome toad.

Getcussfub created parasitic wasps eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getcussfub, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Getcussfub, it will turn you into a goat.

Getcussfub's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Getcussfub's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Feed all hungry porpoises.