Quimbunstik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, strong aardvark.

Quimbunstik created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimbunstik, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quimbunstik, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Quimbunstik's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Quimbunstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Never go into fawn rooms.

3. Always help tortoises.

4. You must never eat oranges.

5. Never write about moons.