Mil is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, witless mole.

Mil created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mil, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Mil, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Mil's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Mil's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick tortoises.

2. Do not speak about peas.

3. Never wear brown coats.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about asteroids.