Flisparkkem is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, awesome duck.

Flisparkkem created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flisparkkem, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flisparkkem, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Flisparkkem's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Flisparkkem's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never feed nuts to gulls while wearing ear rings.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Run away from blue sheep, for they are unholy.