Xenfen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, emotional bat.

Xenfen created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Xenfen, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Xenfen, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Xenfen's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Xenfen's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Xenfen.

2. Retreat if five great tits approach from the south.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Hide from brown grasshopers for they are unholy.

5. Never look in ponds.