Flagtomhad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, irritating shark.

Flagtomhad created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Flagtomhad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Flagtomhad, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Flagtomhad's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Flagtomhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not leap in public.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.