Karnatquim is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, compassionate crab.

Karnatquim created the Sombrero Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Karnatquim, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Karnatquim, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Karnatquim's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Karnatquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect eight tin sculptures of Karnatquim on top of important buildings.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Never paint your hands turquoise.