Flyquaghon is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful grasshopper.

Flyquaghon created Mount Everest six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flyquaghon, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flyquaghon, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flyquaghon's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Flyquaghon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.